On Repeat
by LadyDivine91
Summary: Sebastian is trying his hand at being Kurt's "friend", and even though Kurt's not entirely thrilled by the idea, he's willing to give it a try. It may be the most important decision of Kurt's life … and the most devastating decision of Sebastian's. Kurtbastian. Not Blaine or Klaine friendly. Kurt H. Sebastian S.


**Warning for angst, non-con, violence, gun violence, and hospitalization.**

 **Written for the kurtoberfest prompt "nightmares".**

"Hummel! Hummel, wait up!"

"Oh, God," Kurt groans, but slows down a step. If he doesn't, Sebastian will just run him down, screaming out Kurt's name, most likely in dirty limerick form, at the top of his lungs the whole way. "What do you _want_ , Sebastian? I'd like to get home."

"Come on. Don't you want to stay and hang out with me? Seeing as we're supposed to be buddy-buddy and all."

"Look." Kurt spins around, eyes rolling so hard they catch up a half-second after. Better to get this over and done with now. "I know that Blaine wants us to be "friends" ( _the air quotes he uses when he says this are epic, the face he makes the height of ridicule_ ), but that doesn't necessarily mean we have to start tonight. I have a ton of studying to do."

"But … but …" Sebastian stutters, coming off as if Kurt hurt his feelings. "I thought you liked me for _me_?"

Sebastian bats his eyelashes. It's ridiculous and obnoxious, but Kurt has to admit, there's something cute about it.

 _Wait … what?_ _No. Ewww! No way. Not Sebastian Smythe. Not with a ten foot pole._ _Not even with a gun to his head._

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Kurt asks, turning back around and starting on his way through the dark parking lot.

"Ouch," Sebastian says, trotting to keep up.

"Oh, what _now_!?" Kurt drops his head back on his shoulders and moans plaintively to the moonless sky. Strange that there aren't any stars out. There are usually hundreds of them out about now. "Are you going to follow me _all_ the way to my Navigator?"

"Would that bother you?"

"Yes. Yes it would."

"Then yes," Sebastian answers with a smug smile. "I'm following you all the way to your Navigator. I need to make sure you stay safe … for Blaine's sake," he adds when Kurt's right eyebrow soars up. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to his one true love, his … his delicate flower …" The face Sebastian pulls manages to be even more skillfully mocking than Kurt's, and Kurt laughs. He can't help it. He doesn't want to hate Sebastian, not any more. Not after Dave's suicide attempt. Not after Kurt finally made peace with him. Kurt wants to live a life with as few regrets as he can – for his own sake. No one else's.

And besides, when he's not trying to be a jackass, Sebastian can be kind of … sweet? Jesus Christ, Kurt! Don't get ahead of yourself.

But, to be honest, he doesn't mind the escort. Blaine had to head home early and, for some reason, it's blacker than black outside tonight, which is odd. He didn't park that far away from The Lima Bean, and there's a dozen street lamps lit. Besides, it's only five o'clock.

Why is it almost pitch black out already?

Kurt notices the sound of uneven footsteps shuffling behind them, footsteps he'd thought at first belonged to one of his friends, rushing to catch up with him, but they're too heavy, too unfamiliar. Sebastian seems to notice them, too, because he becomes more animated, talks loudly. He starts bringing up oddly aggressive topics like, "Do you remember the time we nailed Blaine in the eye with that rock salt Slushie?" Kurt doesn't justify that question with an answer. It seems cruel for Sebastian to bring it up, especially when he claims that he's trying to build a bridge between them. But Kurt soon realizes it's not about making a dig at Blaine's or Kurt's expense. It's about puffing himself up, making himself sound tough. Sebastian has gone rigid. He's taken Kurt's elbow and he's gripping it tightly. He's dragging Kurt to his Navigator at a steadily accelerating speed and Kurt knows why. The safety of The Lima Bean is long gone now, and between it and them, there's a man following them. A man Kurt hasn't seen, but Sebastian must have, because he's clenched his jaw, balled his fist.

He's getting ready to fight.

Kurt sees his Navigator up ahead, but for every step they take, it seems to move farther away. He thinks he can reach it, stick out his hand and grab the door handle. He's made the decision that after he unlocks it, he'll shove Sebastian inside first. He won't leave him outside to deal with whatever's following them alone, not while he's trying to save Kurt's life.

But they don't make it to the Navigator. Not in time.

"Stop walking." _Click_. "Put your hands up and turn around slowly."

It's not the words that stop Kurt's heart, propel it with one last, staccato beat up into his throat. It's that _click_. TV cop dramas have drilled that noise into his brain.

It's the sound of a gun. The man behind them, the man Sebastian was sprinting from, has a gun.

Sebastian doesn't want to let go of Kurt's arm, but he does when the man says, "I'm not kidding. Turn … the fuck … around."

"Can't we work something out, man?" Sebastian asks, even before he moves. "I mean, there's no need for this, is there?"

"Yeah," the man says, sinister anticipation in his voice. "We're gonna work something out, all right. I'll tell you what I … _shit_!" The man stamps the floor. He stares straight at Kurt, fuming. "Fuckin' shit, man! I thought he was a chick!"

"What?" Kurt snaps, forgetting about the gun for a second. He glares at Sebastian, furious at him for not defending him. What about this "new friendship" he's been talking about? Where did that go? But Kurt can't stay mad at him, because the look on Sebastian's face has Kurt terrified. Sebastian knows something. He knows something that Kurt doesn't.

"You're not … you're not serious?" Sebastian asks with a weak, nervous laugh. "You're not gonna make us …?"

"Make us … make us what?" Kurt feels nervous, sick, angry, and confused all at the same time. His head struggles with it, his heart thumps, and there's a dry, acidic ache in the back of his throat that he can't swallow away. "What is he going to make us do?" A dozen different scenarios leap to Kurt's mind, everything from driving this man to the nearest convenience store and helping him rob it to stripping naked and handing over the keys to his Navigator, the robber taking their clothes with him so they won't go for help. But even though that last scenario is the worst Kurt could come up with, he gets the feeling that what Sebastian's thinking, which the man with the gun is obviously thinking also since he's smiling like Charles Manson, is much, much worse.

The man points the gun square at Kurt's chest and says, "On your knees, girly."

"What!?" Kurt gasps, and suddenly he's on the same page as everybody else. "No! Why …?"

"On your knees, or I'll shoot you through the head."

That should have been enough to get Kurt down on all fours, but it isn't. Kurt finds it impossible to move, even to save his own life.

"Don't …" Sebastian gets the single word out and the gun changes its aim, pointing at his chest now. "Don't make him do that, man. Isn't there anything else you want?"

"I told you what I want," the man says. "You seem to forget, _I'm_ the one with the gun." The gun points back at Kurt, between the eyes. "Do I need to remind you?"

"I-I haven't forgotten," Sebastian says. "But I have money. _Lots_ of money. If you let us go, I'll give you everything in my wallet."

The man doesn't respond, but he seems interested. "How much?"

"Seven grand. Large."

The man bobs his head, mulling it over. "Alright. Let me see it … slowly." The man watches Sebastian with eagle eyes as he reaches into his pocket for his wallet. Sebastian holds it up for the man to see. "Slide it over." Sebastian crouches down, every second that it takes him making Kurt's heart beat faster. _This has to work. It just has to. Seven large!? Is Sebastian out of his mind? Who carries that much …?_

Sebastian's leather wallet slides across the asphalt, hitting the man on the foot. The man looks down at it, but also at Sebastian, trying to figure out what's going on in Sebastian's mind. Whether he was actually entertaining the idea of taking the money and leaving, Kurt doesn't know, but the man says, "You know what? I changed my mind," and he punts the wallet back over to Sebastian without even taking a peek.

Sebastian looks aghast, but also mildly offended. "Dude! What the hell!? That's a _lot_ of money!"

"So what? I can get money. What I want is to be entertained, and you two are going to entertain me." He focuses on Kurt, his eyes burning like lit coals. "On your knees now or he'll be fucking your corpse."

That word _corpse_ , the vulgarity of that image, cements the danger into Kurt's brain, and he drops to his knees so fast Sebastian hears them crack.

"Uh, you're gonna have to pull down your pants, sweetheart," the man says, backed by cruel laughter. Kurt nods, undoing the fly to his jeans with urgent hands and shoving them down his thighs to his knees. Then he leans forward on his hands and waits, staring down at the ground, his cheeks burning red with humiliation and fear, wet with tears clinging to his skin. Sebastian doesn't know how much experience Kurt's had. He knows that Blaine was his first, and that they're still together. The two of them are in love. Sex means more to Kurt than it does to Sebastian. Kurt shouldn't be on the receiving end of this. It's not right.

"H-how about he fucks me, huh?" Sebastian offers.

The man with the gun looks almost disgusted at Sebastian's suggestion. "Nu-uh. Not interested."

"I don't … I don't want to hurt him."

Kurt looks up at Sebastian with a sense of surprise so compelling, he actually turns away from the man with the gun. But Sebastian can't take his eyes off it. One look away, and they might both be dead.

"You hurt him" – The man cocks his gun and points it at Kurt, starting at his head, but then moving the barrel lower, aiming at his hand – "or I do."

"S-Sebastian …" Kurt whimpers. Sebastian sees Kurt shake, the fingers of his threatened hand curling in towards his palm.

"Don't … don't do that." Sebastian kneels down behind Kurt, giving in to the man's demands. "You don't need to threaten him, alright? I'm the one not cooperating. If you need to point that gun at someone, point it at me."

"I know, right?" the man jokes. "But I have a feeling that pointing the gun at him will get me quicker results."

Sebastian undoes the fly to his own slacks and sticks his hand down the front, but there's nothing. Less than nothing. He didn't even know that his dick could shrink that much. No matter what he does, that situation's not changing, and he can feel that they're running out of time. They're out in the open. Someone will walk by and see them. And where that should be a good thing, Sebastian is convinced that the man will take the two of them out before he takes off. "I can't … I can't get hard with you sticking that gun in my face!"

"You'll get hard, or you'll be fucking him with a tree branch."

"Oh, gee, thanks! That's really helpin' me out, pal!"

"Sebastian …" Kurt pleads in a wavering voice.

Sebastian tries to spit on his hands, give himself some kind of lubrication, but his mouth is completely dry.

"Stop being a pussy and just do it, kid! I don't have all night here."

"If you're short on time, I'd be happy to recommend someplace else."

"You know, that smart mouth of yours is gonna get your friend over here a whole lotta dead."

"I'm sorry, all right!? I'm just … I'm sorry." Sebastian tries to rush. With the friction he's able to build up (more chaffing than stroking, nowhere near sensual), he's only able to get less than half hard. When he lines the head of his dick against Kurt's hole, it's like hitting a brick wall. There's no give at all, and not just because Kurt's clenching tight. He's not ready; mentally, physically, he's not prepared for this. God, why couldn't Sebastian just be Blaine for about five minutes? This might be easier. Kurt might open up for Blaine.

"Sebastian, please," Kurt begs, crying. "D-do something."

"That's right, Sebastian. Do something!" the man demands, but he's laughing, the gun in his hand shaking.

Sebastian does the only thing he can think of. His dick's not hard enough to force his way through, and it's not getting any harder. He licks two of his fingers as best he can with his sticky tongue, and he shoves them into Kurt's body. Sebastian knows he's scratched him. Kurt cries out, a sound of desperation and pain that Sebastian's never heard before in his life.

"Oh God, Kurt!" Sebastian repeats as Kurt wails, arms and legs quaking so violently it feels like the whole ground is shaking. "I'm sorry, Kurt! I'm so so sorry, Kurt, I'm…"

"Shut up!" The man punches Sebastian across the face with his gun hand. "God! You two certainly know how to suck the fun out of something as simple as sex!"

Sebastian spits out blood. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"If he was a chick, this would be a done deal by now," the man laments, as if it's their fault that he chose badly. He continues arguing with them, with himself, with the sky, but Sebastian tunes him out and watches him closely. He's waiting for an opening, an opportunity. But an opportunity to _what_? His first thought is to get Kurt to his Navigator. It's only a short sprint away. (Wasn't it closer? Weren't they right next to it?) If he could get them to Kurt's SUV, they might be safe. But where are Kurt's keys? He doesn't even remember Kurt having them. Kurt didn't take them out while they were walking, and Sebastian hasn't heard them jingle in his pockets.

The man shrugs to himself, pointing the gun at the ground, and Sebastian sees a chance. A crazy, stupid, likely to fail chance, but it's all he's got. He leaps to his feet and lunges for the man. The man sees him move and immediately points his gun at Kurt, but Sebastian grabs his arm and raises it before the gun goes off.

"You stupid son-of-a-bitch!" the man growls, his breath hot against Sebastian's face as Sebastian wrestles the man, trying to get him to drop his gun. "You dumb ass punk! What the fuck do you think you're doin'?"

Sebastian doesn't answer. What's he supposed to say? It's asinine that this man would question the fact that Sebastian is trying to save his life. He guesses that's what makes crazy people crazy – an inability to understand simple logic. But none of that matters because the man still has a gun, and he's aiming it at Sebastian's face.

Sebastian has a couple of options, but they're all equally insane, so instead of picking one, he does them all. He butts the bridge of the man's nose with his forehead, grabs the barrel of the gun and wrenches it out of the man's hand, then he kicks him in the nuts. Only the head butt seems to faze the man. He retaliates, punching Sebastian in the jaw hard enough to stun him. But as he's about to punch Sebastian again, the gun bounces off the ground and goes off.

Both Sebastian and the man go still. They stare at one another in surprise, eye to eye. Sebastian hears the man exhale a breath, but he doesn't take another. Sebastian watches a light in the man's eyes go out. The man crumbles, drops to the floor, eyes pointed skyward, unfocused. He doesn't recover. He doesn't reach for his gun.

He doesn't' move again.

Sebastian's jaw drops. He sputters. He laughs out loud. He feels like he's going to vomit. The man lying on the floor is dead. Stone dead, from a single gunshot wound to the head. But there were two shots. Where did the other …?

"Kurt!" Sebastian chuckles, wondering why is this so funny? Is that relief? Is it nerves? This isn't the end. There's a bunch of other aftermath he's going to have to deal with now. They both will. The night is still, and it would be quiet if his ears weren't ringing from the gunshot. "Kurt? I think we … Kurt?" Sebastian turns around. "Kurt?" A few feet away, where Sebastian left him, Kurt lies on the asphalt, as still as the night, barely breathing, the rise and fall of his chest gone. A blossom of red grows on his shirt, and Sebastian's eyes grow wide. "Kurt? Oh my God! Kurt!" Sebastian takes off his blazer and covers Kurt with it. He doesn't know why. He assumes it will stop the bleeding somehow. That doesn't make sense, but he's not thinking straight. "I'm sorry, Kurt! I'm so sorry, I …" Sebastian looks left and right. Houses line the street up and down, and yet no one has peeked out to see what the commotion is. "Help!" Sebastian screams. "Help us! Somebody please! Help us!"

"It's alright, Kurt," Sebastian mutters. "I promise. I'm going to get you some help. I …" Sebastian pulls his phone out of his pocket to call 9-1-1, but he can't make out the numbers. They look like gibberish, his vision fuzzy, his head still spinning from the blow. He begins to dial what he thinks is the number, but it comes out as just symbols on the screen.

"What the - what the hell is … stupid $800 phone! Help! Help me! Somebody help! Help me! _Help me_!"

* * *

"What … what was that?" Anxious eyes scan the room in the low light, the beeping of the monitor closest to his head louder than a cymbal crash with his head throbbing. He looks around the sterile room – his dad sitting in the chair beside him, holding his hand; a nurse adjusting tubes and wires leading to a bed a short ways away, and in it, a body, almost lifeless.

"It was another spike," the nurse informs him. She's been there since long before they came in. She looks more exhausted than he does.

"Does that mean … he's waking up?"

"No," the nurse says sadly. "Not necessarily. We still have to wait. Give him time."

"How you holdin' up, kid?"

"Not that good, I don't think."

"Well, you should get some sleep."

"I … I can't. I just … I should have done something more. I should have fought."

"Then you'd both be in hospital beds right now. You did everything you could, Kurt," his father says. He's trying to be strong for his son, but his voice slips, shaking at the thought of his son on his hands and knees the way Kurt told it.

"Yeah, well, Blaine doesn't think so."

"Blaine's an asshole," Burt snarls. "What did he think? You _asked_ for this?"

"You should have seen him, Dad," Kurt sniffles. "He couldn't … he couldn't even look at me."

Blaine's reaction when Kurt told him about the assault was completely unexpected. After his speech when they first met about how prejudice is just ignorance, and how he regretted bullies chasing him away from his old school, Kurt thought that Blaine would stand by him, the way he had in the face of Dave Karofsky. He thought Blaine would rush down to the hospital to hold him and sit by his side. Blaine showed up and saw Sebastian, saw Kurt in tears holding Sebastian's hand. He listened to Kurt tell his side of the story. Blaine barely spoke three words to him before mumbling something about it being late and him having to get home. "Maybe this is just hard for him," Kurt says. "Maybe I'm being unfair. I should just … I should give him time."

"Do you _want_ to give him time?"

Kurt shakes his head, dabs at his eyes. "Not really. I need him, but he can't be here for me."

"Well, _I'm_ here for you," Burt says, putting an arm around his son's shoulders and squeezing. "I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Dad. And when he wakes up …" Kurt glances over at the bed "… I'll be here for him."

Kurt takes Sebastian's hand again and holds it gently. It was so surreal how it happened. The police told him that the man who followed them through the parking lot of The Lima Bean had just been released from prison on a technicality. They'd been keeping tabs on him, waiting for him to slip up, but they lost track of him. Kurt told them that he'd heard him and Sebastian talking, and thought Sebastian was with a woman. The police informed him that that was his m.o. - to corner a man and a woman in an alley or a parking lot, somewhere deserted and dark, and have them "perform" for him.

They also told Kurt that the man with the gun never had any intention of letting him and Sebastian go alive.

Kurt remembers the man going off, talking to himself. He remembers Sebastian telling him to run for the Navigator, but Kurt had said no. He wasn't going anywhere without Sebastian. They were trying to come up with a plan when the man let his guard down for a moment and Sebastian bum-rushed him. The gun went off twice – once when they first started struggling, and then a second time when he pointed the gun in Sebastian's face. Kurt thought Sebastian was dead right then, but the bullet hit the man instead. That first bullet, the one that shot off into the air, fell back down to earth and hit Sebastian in the head, driving into his skull. It took a while for it to affect him, but when it did, Sebastian knocked out cold.

And now, Sebastian is unconscious, and no one knows for sure when – or if – he's going to wake up.

Kurt called 9-1-1 and, while he waited for the police to arrive, he held Sebastian. Kurt cried with Sebastian cradled in his arms, Sebastian's blood staining Kurt's shirt. Kurt tried to get Sebastian to wake up by complaining about it. Then he told Sebastian everything he was thinking when Sebastian chased him down in the parking lot - how he didn't hate him, how he wanted to try his hand at them being friends.

But it didn't work. Sebastian hasn't opened his eyes since he hit the ground.

The first few times Sebastian's monitor beeped, Kurt overheard the nurses talk about how sometimes coma patients remain in a dream state while their brains repair themselves, that they relive the final moments of their lives before they went unconscious over and over and over again while they try to sort things out.

Kurt can't help wondering what Sebastian's thinking right now, what it is that makes that monitor keep going off …

…

 _"Hummel! Hummel, wait up!"_


End file.
